Look at all that's happened since then. How does it fit together? Does it?
Sunday night thankfully Jack slept well, after the blow we took that morning about the job not working out. But I did not.
I was awake almost the entire night having what I can only describe as an Intensive Life Review. Not like when dying it is said we have our entire lives flash before us...... It took hours and was very detailed. And in truth I had that "flash" long time ago, just before I married Mark........ So perhaps that was a kind of death. That's how it worked out for sure.
No, this Life Review was quite different from that, and from anything I have ever experienced before.
Because so many different things have happened to me, I've lived in different places, had multiple marriages, I have tended to see all of these as Separate Lives. They have not been of one piece for me. Looking at it that way, I appear to have had at least Nine Lives! So far!
Even though not seen as Separate Lives, for sure there were different Sections, Segments, Pieces, or perhaps Chapters, depending on whether the preferred metaphor is a Quilt, a Film, a Musical Composition, or a Book. Whatever else, it was My Life in full technicolor and brilliantly lit, could not fail to not see everything, just as it was. And much of it was.... NOT GOOD.
So many traumas and so many difficulties! So many times I could have died. So many times perhaps I SHOULD have died, or wanted to. Just to escape from this particular scene in my life. Of course there were good parts too, but honestly, I can say with all due respect, the only reason I am still alive now is purely and simply the Grace and Mercy of God!
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