FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE RIDICULOUS

Remember that a couple weeks ago or thereabouts I had a Visitation from the Lord? And John had a dream?

Look at all that's happened since then. How does it fit together? Does it?

Sunday night thankfully Jack slept well, after the blow we took that morning about the job not working out. But I did not. 

I was awake almost the entire night having what I can only describe as an Intensive Life Review. Not like when dying it is said we have our entire lives flash before us...... It took hours and was very detailed. And in truth I had that "flash" long time ago, just before I married Mark........ So perhaps that was a kind of death. That's how it worked out for sure.

No, this Life Review was quite different from that, and from anything I have ever experienced before.

Because so many different things have happened to me, I've lived in different places, had multiple marriages, I have tended to see all of these as Separate Lives. They have not been of one piece for me. Looking at it that way, I appear to have had at least Nine Lives! So far!

Even though not seen as Separate Lives, for sure there were different Sections, Segments, Pieces, or perhaps Chapters, depending on whether the preferred metaphor is a Quilt, a Film, a Musical Composition, or a Book. Whatever else, it was My Life in full technicolor and brilliantly lit, could not fail to not see everything, just as it was. And much of it was.... NOT GOOD.

So many traumas and so many difficulties!  So many times I could have died. So many times perhaps I SHOULD have died, or wanted to. Just to escape from this particular scene in my life. Of course there were good parts too, but honestly, I can say with all due respect, the only reason I am still alive now is purely and simply the Grace and Mercy of God!

NOTES ON THE VISITATION

NOTE: Jack has had maybe a half dozen dreams in which St Paul appeared. He finds that strange, because he has never had a big interest or devotion to him. As a Catholic , when he was confirmed he took the name Joseph, and considers St Joseph to be his “patron saint”, especially in the guise of St Joseph the Worker. Jack respects work, and also that St Joseph took care of his family, protected his family. Only lately has he been seeing this in a bigger and more symbolic way, that St Joseph also has the designation of being the Protector of the Church, starting with Mary, the Blessed Mother, being the First Church. And of course, as he is Irish, he is fond of St Patrick. Already talking about Corned Beef and Cabbage on St Patty’s Day!

ANOTHER NOTE: I have from time to time seen Our Lord, sometimes only for mere nano-seconds, a few times longer or more significantly. The most significant time I ever saw Him was while living at the Haven of Grace in Woonsocket, during an especially difficult time in my recovery (from many things), a turning point when things could have gone any which way. I went to sit outside on the second floor porch, and just like that, there He was! Very bright and glowing, mainly I remember His eyes, those exquisite eyes, looking at me, into me, through me. He gave me a vision of my whole life and how everything I did and every choice I made effected not just myself, but everyone and everything around me. I saw how at that moment my choices were to affect the lives of so many, and events all around the world, through space and time, and into Eternity. And yet I had CHOICE. And I was set FREE then and there, like never before. Things have never been the same for me since this Visitation.

My sense is that somehow this is another significant Visitation.

As I was drifting off, still in some kind of prayer, I heard Him say “LOOK AND SEE--- I AM MAKING A NEW THING--- FOR YOU—AND FOR JOHN--- BUT FIRST YOU (meaning me) MUST COMPLETE UNFINISHED PROJECTS”.  He was kind enough to very definitely show me three of these; a class with written work to complete for a certificate, a devotional with a goal of renewed dedication in its conclusion, and of course the baby quilt. SO, with the time off I have right now to recuperate from surgery, I will do these, as much as possible. And it was clear that I am NOT to start anything else till these are done.

He also showed me some other categories of things for me--- and for both of us--- to sort out and work through. Our Lord is so organized!

And these categories were INTERRUPTED, PROCRASTINATED, AND IN-PROCESS. For example, for INTERRUPTED He showed me in the pool at the Y, swimming laps, getting into the “zone” and really working it, getting into the splashes and drops and movement of the water and the lights I the water, becoming first the Rainbow Fish, then the Green Frog, and then the Pink Dolphin--- in other words, He enjoys this with me! And when healed up I am to go back. PROCRASTINATED goes along with the UNFINISHED PROJECTS, but of course there is more…. And IN-PROCESS includes how we’ve completed the process of application to be Nursery Helpers at CTR and will be scheduled, again, once recuperation is complete.

A VISITATION

Last night I saw Our Lord!

Not due to medication, even though some remnants of anesthesia from surgery earlier in the day may have been still in my system--- nothing to do with this!

I was in bed, for the night, and praying, as I do, before going to sleep. I went into a deep place in the prayer, as sometimes happens, but has not happened for some time. The atmosphere became heavy and warm, I could hear tinkling sounds, like little bells, softly, all around me, and began to smell sweet incense. The back of my closed eyelids changed from dark to bright colors, and so I opened my eyes to take a peek….

And saw HIM, Our Lord Jesus, on the cross, hanging with His head down, His eyes closed. Surrounded by flames, not of fire but of gold, with sparkles of gold dust everywhere. The flames took over the room, the house, the world… enveloped me in sweetness and in warmth. I could not take my eyes off of Our Lord!

And then His appearance changed, from the One hanging on the cross with His head down, eyes closed. First His eyes opened and then--- He was standing--- with the cross behind Him, the brightest white light in Him and around Him and through Him…..

He looked right at me and His eyes looked into mine, into my soul and my entire being. I was suffused with warmth… except for the right knee, where the surgical site was, which turned icy cold. Not unpleasant but strange. It felt like it was being healed from the inside out by this icy cold. In time, between the warmth and that feeling of cold to my knee, I closed my eyes….

When I opened them a little later He was gone, the golden flames were gone… I blinked my eyes and then I saw, gentle angels, in a blue-white glow, like the moon when it is full and spreads its reflected light onto still water, surrounding me, surrounding US--- as John was next to me the whole time, and slept right through it all. I saw one angel put fingers to his mouth, like “Shhh...” and then drifted off to sleep, wondering HOW John could have slept through all that, and not have noticed anything!

When he woke in the morning he told me of a dream he had during the night. He doesn’t remember too many of his dreams, so this seemed significant.

As he recalled he was in his suit and it felt like he was going someplace to work. On the way there several men, also in suits, one or two with briefcases, met him on the way and engaged him in conversation. Before long it took on the tone of a job interview, by committee. John was listening and answering their questions, and they seemed to like what they heard. One man, who appeared to be the one in charge, told him they were very interested in him and might be offering him a job in the near future. And John said what he frequently says, it’s sort of a motto of his… “As long as it’s honest work, I’m happy to do it”.

At which point they all got nervous and the man in charge asked him why he said that? Was he implying their business wasn’t honest? Was he privy to information about them the public didn’t have?  John remembers looking him in the eye and telling him he was now uncomfortable with these proceedings and was going to walk away.

As he was walking away, a person he recognized from a couple previous dreams he’s had as St Paul appeared. St Paul shook his hand and gave him a man-hug and told him he had done the right thing, and that the Lord was very pleased with him. In the distance, over St Paul’s shoulder, John saw St Patrick making the Sign of the Cross towards him, and he felt very happy.

So though he slept through it, he too was affected by the Visitation!